Chapter 5 - The Sleep
“ Ibrahim! - that’s what I’ll call you if you are a boy, because that’s what you’ll be the father of multitude... not literally but yes I know you’ll be the best at anything and everything you’ll do. Moreover, it’s also your great grandfather’s name which also happens to be close to your father’s heart.” “And if a girl then I’ll name you Ibtihal – prayer because you’ll be an answer to countless of those and you’ll bring hope to many.”
I keep on hearing her monologue and wonder why does she need me? Why this urgency! Is it to prove a point? …to have peace at last? …to have a family? ...to have someone who makes her feel alive? …to make her complete? Or am I just an agenda, another KRA to be met in a life of a confident young woman? And the last thought leaves me ashamed.
Have I never known her or have I turned blind just like everyone else around her!
How can I question her love for me! It’s as unconditional as it gets. She loves me without even knowing me, without even knowing whether what and how I’ll be. Her life revolves around me, even when I don't exist anywhere except in her, she doesn't know of my existence, yet she has been brought into this world for me. And yet, I question the very purpose of her existence.
“…don’t want to stifle you, nor your freedom… I want you to grow into a beautiful human being first and then anything else later. I can’t promise you riches but all the love and respect that’s priceless, I won’t mother you… but on the second thoughts I won’t let you have your way…”
She continues in her own reverie, and I wish her to sleep. She has a whole new day tomorrow, and she should rest, God knows she hasn’t had one for many days. I can hear that leap in her rhythmostat, in that soft thud of her heart whenever she sighs, and silently a tear rolls down her eyes. Though it is dark, I see those glistening eyes. During the days they hold a chuckle, and in nights a deluge of sorrows. I have too much to learn from her. I have too much to stand up to.
Her husband rolls over, and notices her awake. He pulls her over to him and embraces her. She relaxes, seems to melt away in that caressing moment and shuts her eyes. She finally sleeps in nine nights.
I keep on hearing her monologue and wonder why does she need me? Why this urgency! Is it to prove a point? …to have peace at last? …to have a family? ...to have someone who makes her feel alive? …to make her complete? Or am I just an agenda, another KRA to be met in a life of a confident young woman? And the last thought leaves me ashamed.
Have I never known her or have I turned blind just like everyone else around her!
How can I question her love for me! It’s as unconditional as it gets. She loves me without even knowing me, without even knowing whether what and how I’ll be. Her life revolves around me, even when I don't exist anywhere except in her, she doesn't know of my existence, yet she has been brought into this world for me. And yet, I question the very purpose of her existence.
“…don’t want to stifle you, nor your freedom… I want you to grow into a beautiful human being first and then anything else later. I can’t promise you riches but all the love and respect that’s priceless, I won’t mother you… but on the second thoughts I won’t let you have your way…”
She continues in her own reverie, and I wish her to sleep. She has a whole new day tomorrow, and she should rest, God knows she hasn’t had one for many days. I can hear that leap in her rhythmostat, in that soft thud of her heart whenever she sighs, and silently a tear rolls down her eyes. Though it is dark, I see those glistening eyes. During the days they hold a chuckle, and in nights a deluge of sorrows. I have too much to learn from her. I have too much to stand up to.
Her husband rolls over, and notices her awake. He pulls her over to him and embraces her. She relaxes, seems to melt away in that caressing moment and shuts her eyes. She finally sleeps in nine nights.
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